Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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