Dual....:-)
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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