Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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