what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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