I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
