Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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