I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
