last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
