Whod you bang
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Life is so much better after having sex.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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