but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
