I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
