i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
