Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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