If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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