I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
