But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
