We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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