Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
