It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
