Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
