at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
