just come out here and I will go home with you...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
