Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
