I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
