yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
