The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
