Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
