Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
