So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
