So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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