I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
