Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Randomize
