First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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