finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
