We're like a lot better than the average bears
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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