We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
