Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
