why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize