Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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