For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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