I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
