My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
