The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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