Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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