I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
