i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
