someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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