White coat. Heels.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
