this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
