Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
