somebody snuck up and got me drunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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