You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize