hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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