highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?