I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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