like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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