happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
