you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
