i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
