my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
