she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
