That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
