so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize