idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
