jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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