After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
