Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
