dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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